September 2012
8 posts
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A Place To Stand
Oral Roberts,a Christian televangelist who founded a university in Tulsa, Oklahoma named after himself, found a place to stand and did what Archimedes could not do. Oral, the least likely of his siblings to ever accomplish anything, ended up becoming the greatest (in a humbling way) of his siblings. Being overlooked by many, of the potential and the calling, Oral found his place on the word of God and used it to move the world in such a way causing him to not only be remembered, but also to leave behind a legacy.
As I stand at the construction gate that separates the newest addition to our campus (Oral Roberts University), I ask myself one question, “have I found my place to stand? That place where even the smallest thing can change the world?” I mean, I look around and I see how Oral found his place to stand that when God spoke to him “Raise up your students to hear My voice, to go where My light is seen dim, where My voice is heard small, where My power is not known, even to the uttermost bounds of the earth. Their work will exceed yours, and in this I am well pleased,” he stood on that word and moved the world. He found his place that when God said build City of Faith, he moved the world. He found his place that when he laid hands on the sick, he saw them recover. He found his place, and that place was the solid foundation of the word of God.
The word of God, something that is looked at as so irrelevant and small, to the changing and moving of our world, is actually the one thing that man needs to move it. Yes, that small little leather book, with hundreds of pages, that sits on many people coffee tables as a decoration or on a bookshelf collecting dust, that little thing carries the greatest power offered to man, to move this nation and others. The power to empower you to fulfill every calling and purpose that is in you. The power for you to move the world. But the question is, have we really found that place to stand?
Moving the world is not an easy task. But when you find your place, whatever it may be (singer, writer, musician, teacher, doctor, lawyer, architect, business man or woman, humanitarian, florist, pastor, worship leader, mother, father, husband or wife) and stand in that place on the word of God, then moving the world would not be hard at all. You would actually be empowered to do so. So when God says do this, or go here, or build that, or change this, you would know you stand in a place where you are able to do so.
Today, I’ve found my place. I stand firmly on the word of God knowing that He is a faithful God and will bring to completion that which He began in me. The dreams and visions that are in me can move the world, but depend solely on if I stand and remain on the word of God.
Today find your place to stand, and move the world=)
WORDS FROM ELE:
Moving the world doesn’t necessarily mean you will build a great university, or develop the next break through cure for a deadly disease. I mean, that could be it, but moving the world also means in the small things like being an awesome father so that it impacts the lives of your children. Or a loving neighbor who simply just takes the time to walk over and put the trash out for you neighbor who simply forgot to do it.
Moving the world can be just changing you. Simply changing your attitude or look on life. Archimedes thought that going outside of earth was the way he could move the world with the use of the Lever, but when really all along he had a place to stand within the realm of the world, and that was on God’s word.
Oral found his place and because he did, the university is expanding and effecting the lives of thousands everywhere. He moved the world and his legacy continues to do so everyday.
God is the only one, while in the midst of doing homework, studying, writing, etc. has ever truly grasped my attention and spoken some of the most simple words, but breath taking at the same time. It’s like even when I’m consumed with task and obligations, God pulls me away and simply reminds me that He loves me dearly. And I so love that, because it’s like He’s reminding me that He is thinking of me, even when I’m not thinking of Him. And the best thing is that it’s at my favorite place, Starbucks=)
Lucy: The Fair Trade
I remember the first time I saw Lucy at the orphanage in Zambia. With 11 American college students, including myself, surrounded by so many beautiful little and big Zambians, there she was…two rows ahead of me. Turning back every so often to see if one of the Mazoongoes (white man/ westerner) were looking at her. When she would see one of us look at her, there would be this excited smile that would overtake her small face as she would quickly turn towards her neighboring friend, giggle, then face forward to watch the play that was going on in the front. She would end up doing this several times before finally catching my attention completely. As our team continued on with the story of David and Goliath and were somewhat near the end, she looked back one more time, only to see that I was already waiting for her with a wave and a smile. Ducking her face behind the back of the chair, with only her eyes peeking above, that was the moment that Lucy secretly grasped my heart.
Lucy was a special girl from the moment I saw her deep brown eyes behind that chair. Though it seemed as though she had caught my heart and love, I believe from that moment, I caught hers also. It wasn’t long after the finishing of the play, that Lucy found her way over to me, slipped her hands into mine, and walked with me as our team help return chairs to their designated storage location. That day I never said anything to Lucy, nor did she say anything to me. We just walked, hand in hand, side by side, heart by heart.
Throughout the beginning stages of our time at the orphanage, I never allowed myself to get to attached to the children, knowing that it would bring great pain to my heart once the sun would no longer make it’s bed in Africa, but return to it’s home in America. I would not play with them, nor would I really talk to them. I kept my distance and watched. Every once in awhile I would dance with the group of children that would be practicing for an upcoming celebration. Even during that, I was short with words and tried my best to participate without getting to close. I stayed in a place where I considered myself safe.
As time moved on in the trip and my distance continued between the children, now more than ever (due to a pain that was caused by the removal of another child), I had began to form bonds with the “Mommas” and “Aunties”(woman that take care of the children) at the orphanage. Only to be used as a safe zone to not face a hurt that frequently visited me every summer, including this summer spent in Africa. But then, it happened. Again, Lucy found me. But this time, she came with something in her hands. She came with a gift wrapped in such a delicate disguise.
Lucy, a five year old little girl, who caught my eye the first day at the orphanage, managed to find her way next to me once again, hand in hand, side by side, heart by heart. But this time it was different. This time, I allowed her in. That day, Lucy ran up to me and wanted me to play with her. I at first kind of blew her off, but found myself following behind her from the concrete shaded ground to the open red soil field. It was there, in the soil, Lucy brought me out of my safe zone. It started out with a small game of playing kickball, then into a game with some of her friends and some of the other girls. Our circle grew bigger and bigger as more kids decided to join. Once the circle got big enough, Lucy found a way to once again have me to herself and pulled me away and started teaching me a song that apparently was now common to my teammates. Lucy brought me into her world. That day, with the remainder of the time at the orphanage, I played several games with Lucy and her friends. By the end of the day, we had created a bond. A bond that was sealed with a special handshake that made Lucy feel special, because secretly she new, she had won my love. I loved Lucy with a love rarely given from me. Even though it hurt, I couldn’t stop myself from loving her like I did. Even when she got annoying to others, I looked past that and thought she was the most special girl I met on that trip. Lucy had officially became the first orphan that had gripped my heart, and caused me to love, even when it hurt.
With little less than two weeks left of our trip, I would notice that Lucy would not be out with the rest of the children when we would come. So I would go back to the concrete shaded area and begin to make conversation with the Mommas and Aunties. Never taking a step off into the red soil. Nope, I was back to my comfortable place.
Lucy missed a couple days, for unknown reasons, but came back during our last week with the orphanage. When I actually saw her, I ran to her and screamed her name with excitement. I really had missed her and wanted her to know. Lucy grabbed my hand, and again took me to the red soil and we played for almost 2 hours. She loved me and I loved her. It was probably the best feeling I got from a child since my arrival. That day, I took Lucy’s gift that constantly was extended to me. I took it and held on to it, not knowing what it was, but yet to open it.
Today I think about the last moment I had with Lucy before I never saw her again while on the trip. I remember her walking with me to the gate that exited the property of the orphanage. Holding hands and coming from having a great play time, I stopped and looked Lucy in the eye and said “Lucy I have to go home now.” Lucy, with her sweet little eyes, looked at me, smiled and said “Ok, I will see you Friday.” As I tried to explain that there would be no Friday, Lucy finally caught on that that was it. I could still see how the excitement in her eyes left quickly and she immediately shut me out. I could tell what she was thinking and hurt me to know that I had hurt her just like every other person that had come into her life and walked away. I cried and made Lucy a promise, I told her I would be back very soon and I would come see her. It was the last thing I got to say to Lucy before I left the orphanage with tears full of memories that were precious and an unwrapped gift, that has been waiting for me to open it, and this week I did.
The gift Lucy offered me was freedom. At the time I didn’t know it, but today I am clear that God used a little girl to offer me freedom from a pain that very few have ever known about me. A pain that involved a child, a stolen opinion, and an alone visit to an office. Though that pain visited often in the summer I most often found a way to suppress that. Until Lucy came into my life and I faced the fact that I resent most children for the experience I had that left me alone. Today I can say I took the gift Lucy came bearing in her hands and I am no longer ashamed nor tormented. I guess I can say, me and Lucy had a fair trade. I gave her love and she gave me freedom. And now that freedom has caused me to want to help others who live tormented by having an abortion and lonely.
WORDS FROM ELE:
Having an abortion has not been the favorite part of my testimony. Nope, in fact it’s the part I always leave out. But living life tormented and afraid, has only kept me bound and has had a negative effect on my life and how I interact with most young children. Never let the enemy torment you with an event you refuse to face due to the pain that comes with it. God never wants us to be bound and tortured by the enemy. His desire is for us to be free and living life knowing that that child is in our future. Walk in the freedom and knowing that God love for you is great, even when your heart says otherwise. Don’t stay silent, but speak up and seek help so that you can live a life of the freedom God has to offer.
God is such a good God that he would offer such freedom=)
July 2012
1 post
Remember Me
You know, I’ve waited all summer long just for this moment, the moment of seeing the last and final film of The Dark Night Rises. My excitement and anticipation of this movie is beyond the average movie goer. I have been a batman fan ever since I could walk. My pops and I use to get up early on Saturday’s to watch the early morning showings of Batman. Who would have thought, now at age 16, that pops and I would be dressed up like our hero and stand in line for hours, just to get the better seats in the house.
Today couldn’t have been a better day, life is good. Actually, it could have been a better day, if only my dad didn’t show up with me. Sometimes he treats me like a kid and I hate that. And the worse part about coming with him is seeing all my friends- without their parents!
Here I am stuck with my pops, while seeing the greatest movie of the year. Man Ill never get to live this down with my friends. And to make matters worse, I got in an argument with my pops last night and said some really hurtful things. I told him how much of a loser he really was and how my life would be better without him. I even told him how much I hated him, though I didn’t really mean it, I just wanted to get him away from me. I probably should apologize, but Ill wait until after the movie.
I know he wants to make it right with me by bringing me to this movie, but hey I might as well take advantage of this good treatment. I tell him after the movie how sorry I am and that he really is a good father and I know he wants the best for me and from me.
The movie is starting. Finally! Dude, who’s the jerk that just walked in from the exit door……
REMEMBER ME, John
OMG!!!! OMG! OMG! So today is my 25th birthday, and the love of my life couldn’t have made this day more awesome. I woke up to the most beautiful roses waiting at my door with a card that read:
Simply put, I love you…Cody
How cute right!!
Today has just been amazing day that I will always remember. First roses, shopping, dinner and now the premier of the greatest movie ever. Batman: The Dark Night Rises. I’m so excited. I’m so glad I get to spend this special day with my love. Yes my love.
You see, Cody and I have been dating for the last 7 months and I’ve so deeply fallen in love with him. But he doesn’t know, at least not just yet. When I started dating Cody, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t tell him when I fell love with him until after our 10 month anniversary. I know that sounds stupid, but I’ve had so many heart breaks and I can’t bare to take another. Previous relationships that I’ve been in, have all ended before the 10 month mark and I always gave my heart away and ended up getting it crushed. I know Cody is different, I just know it. And no guy has ever treated me the way he treats me. No guy has ever looked me in the eyes the way he does, with passion and with love. But I can’t get hurt, I have to protect my heart. Even if he tells me everyday, I have to wait to make sure.
I want to tell him though. I want to tell him how much my heart sings when it hears his voice or how every fear or worry cease to exist when he holds me.
Ok, ok, ok I’m going to tell him. I have to, or I will explode. Ok here goes….
Crap, the movie is starting, I’ll just tell him when he takes me home. That’s better, it will be perfect. More perfect than saying it right now while the movie is going. Plus there’s a guy, in all black…He just threw something. It’s releasing some type of smoke. Hmmm must be apart of the movie.
REMEMBER ME, Monica
Only 5 more mins until the movie starts. I can do this! I can and will stay awake throughout the entire movie.
Just 5 more mins.
Though I am struggling to stay awake before the movie even starts, my coworkers seem to be just fine. I don’t know how they are full of energy at freakin midnight. Do we not work at the same hospital? Did we not just work an 18 hour shift together? I’m confused. Am I missing out on a energy drug they must have taken to be crazy enough to come to this premier showing of Batman? Man I really need to get whatever they are taken.
I don’t even know why I said yes to coming with these guys. Outside of them being my buddies for the last 15 years, and it being a guys night, I really don’t know why I said yes. I should be at home with my wife and children. But I know my wife would have told me to go out with the guys, being that tonight was our man’s night out. Usually we do things like hunting, hanging out at the bar, fishing or in this case, the movies.
Katie, my wife, understands that my job keeps me from being able to go out, especially since I move up to head surgeon at the hospital. But you know, honestly I never dreamed my career would be the way it is. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always known that I would be a doctor, but just not like this. Unlike my buddies, I don’t fully enjoy my job. I’m thankful for it, but I don’t enjoy it.
Ever since I decided I would be a doctor, I’ve always dreamed that I would travel to the most poverty stricken countries of the world and provide care and medicine to those who truly needed it. But I put that dream on the back burner when my wife gave birth to our first son. Oh well, maybe one day. I guess that would explain my buddies lack of tiredness after work. They love their jobs. Maybe I should talk to Katie about that dream, maybe it’s time to finally start living out my life…..Hmm it’s settled, I will talk to her about me leaving my job and finally pursuing my dream. Just thinking about it makes me excited. I’m actually awake now. Good, because I’ve seemed to miss the fist couple minutes into the movie. I guess my sudden alertness would be because I noticed a guy walk in from an exit door. Probably a young teen sneaking into the movie. I remember the days of doing that and getting caught. I guess we weren’t as slick as this guy.
Wait, is that a gun in his hand?
REMEMBER ME, Brian
Ugh, I can’t believe I arrived to the movies late. I would have gotten here a lot earlier if it wasn’t for my neighbor talking to me again. Oh my goodness, the lady can talk. This time it wasn’t about her near death dog. I actually can’t wait for the old geezure to hurry up and die, maybe then I wouldn’t have to listen to Ms. Nelson talk my ear off about him. But this time Ms. Nelson’s conversation was a little different. It started off about Max the old geezure, but then she started asking me all these nonsense question about my life and telling me about some old fool dying for humanity. I swear I think the lady is crazy. She said His name was Jesus, but then awkwardly she would call Him Christ also. I knew the lady was senile. She asked me if I’ve ever received Him. I told her no, and how could I if I’ve never met Him. She talked about Him as if He was real and she knew Him personally. She told me all these interesting things about this Jesus guy, and as convinced as she was of Him and life through Him, I told her not now, Maybe tomorrow, I had a movie to catch. As I sit here and think about what she said about life only comes through Him, questions are flooding my head. Well I’ll just have to ask her tomorrow, but for now, Batman is all that needs to be on my mind.
So far the movie is great! If only the guy that walked in, would hurry and find a seat and stop being a distraction.
REMEMBER ME, Tyler
Words from Ele:
Just recently (yesterday) I heard about a shooting at a movie theater in Colorado during the premier of The Dark Night Rises. 12 people were killed and 59 wounded. While I read headline after headline of the horrific event, my heart began to hurt. All I could think of was how many people that lost their life during that shooting thought tomorrow would come again for them. How many of them were waiting for tomorrow to tell someone they loved them, to finally live life they’ve always dreamed of, to tell those they hurt sorry, or even deeper….how many didn’t know the One that loved them the most, Christ.
This writing is called Remember Me because I wanted to portray those that lost their life in this tragic event and what were the last moments look like. NONE OF THESE STORIES ARE TRUE, they are just what I perceived what might have been on the minds of few when their lives came to an end.
There are a few things I want you to think about:
1. Have you told them you’re sorry
2. Do they know you love them and appreciate them
3. Are you satisfied with life
4. Are there dreams that you are waiting to go after
5. Are you living with no regrets
6. Have you came to know the One who loves you more then Himself, that He died to give you life
Think about these questions and answer them to yourself. Make changes in your life if you need to to get the answer you wish to have for these questions.
May 2012
2 posts
Preparation: A Pretty Penny
About a year in a half ago, while in prayer, I heard the voice of God on the inside of me speak “To the nations I have called you.” Of course when I initially heard that, I thought about how amazing that is. I actually, out of the pridefulness of my heart, said “Yeah God, that sounds about right.” Humbly, a year and a half later, I’m so thankful for what He spoke into me because, it is the very thing I think secretly I dreamed about, just didn’t realize it.
As a little girl I knew I would go to other countries and travel, take pictures, write, and help build, but not once did I ever think I would go caring the kingdom of God on the inside of me with a mission and a focus of seeing people come to the saving knowledge of The King. Nope not once did that cross my mind. Neither did the humility, submission, a greater love for humanity, or a price I would have to pay, ever cross my mind.
Now, as I prepare to take my first missions trip to Zambia, Africa, I am forced to that reality that there is a supply and demand effect for the vision that is in my heart. There is a demand placed on the gospel, a demand for knowing and hearing of a great, great, Father that loves the nations, and I am being sent to supply just that. But for me to supply and meet that demand, there has to be preparation.
Preparation is a price one must pay to meet any demand on the calling, vision, or dream that is in ones heart. There is no getting around it, even if you didn’t know there was a need for preparation it has to be paid, or better yet it MUST be paid! Failure to prepare can cost you the fullness of the vision, or even the vision itself.
So what does preparation look like? I really can’t tell you. I guess what I do know is that all preparation does not look the same, but for all things that are great in life, it is very much needed. For some people it might look like working a little harder in school to get a MBA or a Phd to work in the field of your choice. For others it could be practicing an instrument countless hours a day, just to play a moment at the Carnegie Hall or Times Square. It may even be watching videos of technique of a great athlete in the sport you dream of one day participating in the Olympics. It can also just be as simple as picking up a kid on the street and loving him limitlessly, for when you are a mother with a child who is looking for love. I know for myself, preparation right now looks like eating food from the African couture that is not tasty at all. Preparation for me looks like learning to work with a team and carry the weight of my team members when they cannot bear it themselves. It looks like learning to use a translator to speak of the good news when there is a language barrier. It also just looks simply as asking a person to teach me what they love doing.
All in all, prepare now for what’s to come, so when it does…….you’ll be ready.
Words from Ele:
Although preparation is a price one must pay to achieve greatness or success or even the dream, it is well worth the ‘pretty penny,’ as my grandmother would say. But just think of it like this, preparation is a price that when you pay it, you will be so thankful that you did and it is a price that I believe is fulling once payed. For example, It’s like purchasing a steak dinner at a fine restaurant. Yes it is going to cost you a lot, but when you sink your teeth into that steak, and it enters you stomach, you always leave with a pleasing satisfaction and you literally forget about the price you had to pay when you order it. Same thing with preparation, it brings fulfillment…It is well worth it!
Dreaming
Dreaming has always been something I’ve loved doing. Even as a kid, I would daydream every chance I got. In my adolescent years, it caused me great trouble with my father, who thought I lived to much in a fantasy world due to laziness. But in all actuality, dreaming for me was my escape drug.
At a very young age in life I had became hooked on dreaming. As far back as the age of 4 I can remember jumping in my aunt’s big, comfortable bed, with floral silk sheets, and pillows that were bigger than myself, I would lay there and dream as I would watched her get dressed. After a short while of starring at her, I would eventually pull her yellow, hand stitch comforter over my head and bury myself under, as if I was looking for privacy for me to continue dreaming. At that age I would dream a lot about my parents and what they were like, since I had never seen or even heard their voice.
As I grew older, and began to experience life, my dreams began to change. My dreams had outgrown the capacity of my aunt’s comfortable bed and were bigger than dreaming of my parents and little things like if I were a princess. Contained to my knowledge pertaining life as I knew it, my dreams were now of becoming a veterinarian (which led me to pursuing Pre Vet Medicine 2 years of college), firefighter, a marine, barber school, travel, teacher, pro athlete, author, artist (paint), RN, and a hair salon owner. My dreams may seem like they were all over the place, but I loved it because their were no boundaries to them. A lot of my dreams, I wanted to do at the same time, for example I wanted to be a marine, athlete, and an artist all at once. Although it was unrealistic to be/do all of those things, it never stopped me from laying up at night and just dreaming about them.
Today, I can say my dreams are now limitless! The sky is not even the limit. Late at night I dream now about nations coming to Christ, me feeding the poor, building orphanages, funding the kingdom, writing a one million dollar check for a church, a for profit organization, and being a mom. As I have listened to the heart of Christ, I have now begun to dream new dreams that are not all about me. This doesn’t mean I have forgotten my old dreams, in fact I still want to go to barber school, write a book (or 2), travel, kiss a rock star, own a business, have a ranch and many other things. My dreams have no end. And neither should yours.
Words from Eli:
1. As I’ve grown through life, I am no longer that little kid in a sky blue sleep footie, hiding under my aunt’s yellow comforter trying to dream small dreams. Nope! I think it is important that as you go through life your dreams should expand as you increase in understanding and wisdom and your relationship with God.
2. Dream big! Your dreams should be bigger than yourself. Don’t try to contain your dreams, dream endlessly, without the fear of ever achieving those dreams.
3. Along with your dreams, allow God to put inside you His dreams for you. God doesn’t want you to get rid of your dreams, but instead He wants to expand your dreams.
4. Lastly, NEVER stop dreaming! Once you stop dreaming, than you stop living.
April 2012
4 posts
A Faithful God (Fresh Hope pt 2)
As he told me this my heart sank, and I thought about how this would not be a problem if my father would have put me on his insurance. But his only words to me when I told him that I needed him, he said “let your God provide for you.” As hurtful that was to me, I was determined to see God move in this situation. As the Dr told all the bad things that could happened, I just thought “God this is the perfect time for a miracle.” And it really was! The Dr stepped out for a minute, and upon his return he brought back with him a piece of paper that had writing on it. He looked at me and said “If I get you what you need will you take it?” I looked at him and blurted out “of course I would!” He then informed me that he would pay for everything. My visitation cost, the medicine I needed plus extra, and he sent me to his family practice clinic to receive better treatment and more medicines that weren’t carried at the campus clinic I was at. All I remember is thinking this is not happening right now! But it was, God faithfully showed up with a miracle. I don’t really every see Drs covering the cost for a patient they never met before. I honesty thought the guy was an angel of the LORD. God use this ordinary man to manifest His love for me. I’m so glad to serve a God who shows up with a miracle and His ever present love for me=) I’m also glad that my natural father pushed me to see the goodness of God in my life by saying ” let your God provide for you!” And He did just that. My faith has been stretched, and grown….and for that I’m thankful.
As you know, recently my faith was tested and tried as I believed God for healing in my body. With no money, and still no medicine, I faced everyday with a decision to believe God, even with the ever present reality that I was in need of a miracle or my life was at risk. Today, I saw God show up like I’ve never seen him before.
Today as my condition of asthma worsen, it caused me to go back the the Dr and receive another breathing treatment to get me to the next day, with hope of my medicine, that was now in the mail, would arrive. As the Dr watched me, he asked me question and told me that my condition was at bad state and I needed to go to the ER. I begged him not to send me because with no health insurance, it was a bill I did not want to receive. He gave me his honest opinion and told me he feared that I would not make it through the night. He told me that not being able to stand up and walk 3 steps, or talk without gasping in-between each breath was a sign that I am putting myself at putting my life at danger. He told me I needed the medicine that I had refused to buy because of the lack of finances. That medicine would basically save my life.
Words from Ele:
There are 3 things I want you to walk away from this story. Don’t let this be another story that brings happiness to your soul but a remembrance of the God you serve or the God you can serve=)
1. God is for you! He always, always, always take care of His own. He is the greatest father to have, and to love. He not only wants to bring a miracle to you, but to show others that He is God!
2. Even when your situation seems to be overtaking you, remember that God is at work for you and have already made a way of escape. Even if you are not aware of it. Don’t give up or back down.
3. Expect God to move on your behalf because you belong to Him. He loves nothing more than meeting the expectations of His character for His people.
Be blessed and know that you serve a good God who will move heaven and earth on your behalf, because His love for you is just that strong.
Fresh Hope
Nine years ago, I was diagnose with Asthma. I faintly remember what life was like before that day. I don’t remember what it was like to run, and not have to worry if I would trigger an attack. I don’t remember what it was like not having to make sure my body temperature remained cool, or my lungs would tighten up. I don’t remember the freedom of enjoying my life, without the fear of dying. I can tell you what I do remember…I do remember passing out because my oxygen level was to low. I do remember countless trips to the ER because of a sudden change in the weather triggered some of the worst attacks I have experienced. I also remember waiting for a paramedic to arrive and wondering if life for would end before they would arrive. Many nights sleeping with an inhaler securely grasped between my fingers. That’s what I do remember. Though I’ve only had this horrible disease for a short period of my life, it seems like I’ve had it a life time plus more.
Today, will be like another memory that will added to the list of attacks. This morning I woke up, gasping for air. Immediately I reached for my inhaler, but soon found out that my attack was past the point of being relieved without a treatment. I quickly made my way to my dresser to grab my proscribed steroid, only to find out it was empty. With no insurance, this day was a nightmare for me. I calmly made my way to a nearby clinic to get a breathing treatment. I held the machine to my mouth, and felt the relaxing of my lungs, but also noticed that my face was wet. Tears were pouring out of my hopeless eyes, and I didn’t even know it. All that I knew was that, in my head I thought I was going to die because of this disease. For the first time in very long time I was afraid. I was so scared. I lost an older brother, that I never had the pleasure of meeting, to this disease. Fear had finally become the stronger enemy, and I hopelessly waved the white flag. I had lost all hope in ever living a life free from sickness and disease. It didn’t make it better when I took my prescription in and was told the medicine I needed would cost $427.59, and definitely didn’t have that type of money. By that time I had given up on healing, and worst God’s promises. God promises a lot of things to those that walk in Him, including healing and freedom. But I had found myself believing God to be bias. He won’t do for me what He has done for others. This for me was the shaking of my faith. I was at my worst state of fear. I had accepted and came to peace with the lie that one day I would die from this. But God, good and merciful, did not let me stay there.
Although I had lost hope in the One who gives hope, He still showed up! In my worst state of fear He didn’t let me get swallowed up and lost in the lies of the enemy. I fell, and He came to my rescue and swooped me up, just like the perfect Father He is=) And the best part is, He gave me a fresh hope, new vision for healing, understanding and a revelation of what and how to receive healing. God is good. And you know what……unlike usual, I didn’t have to return back to ER to receive a treatment (since I didn’t have the steroid needed to penetrate the lungs). I am breathing clearly without the steroid. The God I serve is a faithful, loving and patient God. I and believe that He still heals, and I am the healed of the LORD. My healing may not be manifesting on the outside just yet, but I am more optimistic than ever and believe that tomorrow could be the day I wake up and free from asthma….
Words from Ele:
Don’t give up on the promises you seek from God. He is still faithful to fill every last one of them. Continue to seek for the hidden treasure and the heart of God, because in that is the fulfillment of every promise. And last but not least, don’t focus on receiving the promise, instead focus on the promise maker. Because when you don’t see the fruit of the promise manifesting, you won’t give up because your trust and focus was never on the promise, but on the promise maker Himself and He always shows up=)
Enjoying Life in The Beauty of The Light
What do I see?
I see the ripples in the water of a small pond that sits close by
I see red flowers growing in a small section of grass by the side walks
There is a high way in the distance that carries cars loaded with people to where they desire to go
Radio towers and blinking lights
Birds flying and landing
People walking, talking and laughing
And then I see clearly what I always knew was there, the trees and buildings
But I see them different in the light, then how I see them before the sun kisses them with its light
What’s different?
I now see definition to the trees and buildings
One tree has long arms that reach out, like children playing in the day
It’s leaves enhances its beauty like the bangles of a Gypsy woman
It’s fall time color has faded and now is beaming with life of a new season that screams Spring
This tree is the home to a mother of the sky that awaits the arriving of her seed
The building that sits near by, is motionless, unlike the tree
There is no life occupying this building
Instead it is dead
Old wood boards nailed tightly to its windows
Paint chipped off, resembling nothing of what use to be
Spider webs and their masters hang tightly in its creases
And weeds race up towards its ceiling
Light has brought upon a new perspective
I say all this because, sometimes we go through life looking through the window before the sun ever shows up. We never get the chance to see life for what it truly is. We look at life through these dark lenses and we try to make out things that are in front of us. But just wait a little longer, and then the sun arrives, and shines light on the very thing you were trying to make out in the dark.
When light arrives it brings about new perspective and definition to life. Choose to look at life in the light of Christ. There is life, beauty, peace, hope, clarity, movement, love, anticipation, fullness, joy, relationship, and transformation.
But as you choose to look at life though the light, it does not mean it is absent of the presence of the dead things, like the building. It still is there and remains close by, trying to fight for your attention. But because there is now light, you can clearly see and can choose to enjoy life looking and focusing on the beauty of the tree.
This Road
I lift the lever of a lock on an old dusty fence
with the sun position at the highest point of the day
I take one last look at what used to be
one last look of what I though was me
One foot in front of the other
I step onto the dirt road
tangled hair
dirty nails
unappealing clothes
these shoes have neva came across this road
You may ask, girl where ya goin
and I will say, I’m goin to find my freedom
freedom from what, you may ask
you may even say I know not where I’m headed
you try to convince me
that this is home
your echoes of your doubts
your words of you’ll be back
chase me down
One foot in front of the other
I walk this dirt road
tangled hair
dirty nails
unappealing clothes
these shoes have neva came across this road
I take in my hand
fresh soil that lies on the road
nose pressed up against it
I inhale
I gaze at the sun and I say
Mr I’m about to find my freedom
and this road
this road
gone take me there
One foot in front of the other
I make my way down that road
I take one last look back
and there lie my unappealing clothes
and them damn shoes that aint neva seen this road
Smiling
just as free as I can be
one foot in front of the other
don’t wait for my return
I won’t be back
You may ask, girl where ya goin
and I will say, I’m goin to find my freedom
freedom from what, you may ask
freedom from self imprisonment
neva shall I return
I’m about to find my freedom
and this road
this road
gone take me there
Words from Ele:
This poem is the journey that I am on. It tells of a young girl setting herself free from her own self imprisonment, and starting a journey to a freedom she has never known.
It’s easy to go through life sitting on the side and watching it pass by. Every time you consider getting out there to experience adventure, you bound yourself with the lies of your thoughts and give a megaphone to the voice of doubt. But there has to come a point in your life where you take off those fears, worries, doubts and anything else that could hold you back from a life of freedom that awaits you. Trust me, freedom to live an adventurous life, is a treasure only few behold.
Let your journey to freedom begin today=)
